Ma3 Ride to Remember not to Forget

Kenya can be clearly divided into two sections: those who hate ma3s, and those who ride them. I used to hate them, until I got to ride in one and experienced how entertaining a ride on one can be.

I first got to the Doonholm round about stage a few minutes before 8am. It was so crowded you couldn't get space to cleanly plant your shoes.

Some ma3s came from the Umoja side, which we all lengad despite them charging just a pao. Kisa na sababu? They shukisha you in the thick Bus Station's commotion. Emba and Savo ma3s are our preference. Even if charge 30 bob and sometimes 40 bob, they'll ferry your behind hadi commercial (the original one).

Time was on my side so I decided to chagua the right ma3: alloy rims, the rear being larger than the front so the gari looks like 'inakunywa maji', and at least some ziki - I'm paying ten bob extra or maybe double so the ride better be finer.

Many ma3s passed and most fell short of my expectations. The few that got at least 95% were full before I could put away my marking pen and paper. Seconds flew by, followed by minutes and in no time, an hour was gone. As sudden as Nairobi rain, the fares dropped to a max of 20 bob for the Nissans and 15 bob for some 'I was once there' ma3s that usually ply the inda route. These are metal frames on 6 wheels that used to ply Buru 58 just when people discovered a ma3 can have more than one colour. Ten years later, they're back to one colour - rust. The risk of tetanus dictates you avoid such.

Pooo-riiiiii! A ma3 hooted as it checked into the stage. The kange' shukad and some two guys hung on the door. "Commercial mbao,Stadi kumi!" they chanted. I was one of the first people in, and I quickly secured a seat next to the dere (ndio nifike mapema). My first instinct was tujifunga my Michukis but mine had turned brown. Anyway, he isn't even Transport minister any more.

The two 'hangers' were each given a blue by the kange' and we sped off at like a sok, up the railway flyover. At the peak, the dere all of a sudden reduced his speed. I was like kwani? Tumesahau mtu? I was told there were cops with speed guns ahead. I actually saw them hiding in a ditch on the left, mulikaring deres who were going beyond 50kph (speed limit on the entire Jogoo Road). How do they expect you to maintain that speed limit on such a smooth section of road? (On the other side of the road, guys were clocking 120) Some guy in a Levin zoomed past us; muffler sounding like the guy had eaten something bad. The ma3 dere just laughed. And sure enough at Bridge View Club, we found the Levin parked at the side of the road, and a guy pleading for mercy.

Immediately after, the ma3 dere was back to 90kph.

At St Stephen's Church, we found a jam. Cops were checking Michukis and excess passengers. I quickly fastened my brown one coz a dirty belt is better than a dirty police car. Behind me, I heard the door open in the jam, and looked back to see one excess female passenger being thrown out.

We passed the police check and the kange' waved at the cops. I don't think the cops saw the chic who was running at the back of the ma3, crying for a fare refund, coz they just waved back.

Anyhow, got to town in one piece and changed from ma3 hater to ma3 taker.