Wag the Dog

My fellow Kenyans, I'd like you to press the red buton right above you. When the bus comes to a stop, please alight from the bus. After the dust settles as it continues with its journey, read the huge sign on its rear window; the sign below 'Emergency Door'. Mercenary Saga. That's what you've been riding for two weeks now. And, sad to believe, its been a 'Wag the Dog', Kenyan style.

Just in case you weren't keen on a hollywood by-product a few years ago, Wag the Dog is a movie where the US president calls on a top hollywood director to create a war to divert attention from a sex scandal he's dipped his whole body in.

Back home, you can't fail to see the link between the arrogant Armenians, defensive Raila and Kalonzo, and a leaning-on-one-side-of-the-fence government. The cover up? Anglo Leasing, Ndung'u Report, Kanga Squad, Goldenberg and a list that stretches from here to Loki on hot issues the serikali has no gloves to hold.

For once, both the serikali and ODM have a common enemy: the public. Its demanding action on corrupt individuals and land grabbers, all well represented in both sides of the political fence. A lorry ready to carry furniture is parked right outside Uncle Moody's office; placards and banners asking for Agwambo and other ODM characters to return mali ya uma are being printed in the hundreds in River Road; Kenyan Demonstrators Ltd. has been contracted by several NGOs to stage protest marches on press freedom and the two hot coals named above.

To shift focus and buy time, two Armenian actors scouting for movie locations in the country are called by the powers that be and paid to star in a movie. Location in Runda is provided, and transport too. Only thing is that Armenians don't have a clue on how to remove paper stuck on number plates. A supporting cast of Agwambo, Ms Mwai, Kalonzo and Mutua is briefed on the script, NTV, KBC, KTN and Citizen cameras are hired for the shoot and the low-budget production is on.

As one English man said in 856 AD, 'the rest is history'. We have 30 million Kenyans being treated to a free movie (and no popcorn) daily, while they forget the murk the governemnt left outside their houses.

The tail has been wagged.