World Cup Commentary to be Ignored

* If the goalie caught that one, it wouldn't have been a goal.
* If they score more goals, they win the match.
* This is a team who need to win this game if they want to celebrate at the end of 90 minutes.

Shocking Kenyans

* People who join me in waiting for the lift. They can see the 'down' button is on showing that I've already pressed it, but proceed to press it again.

* When you visit your relas, the first question: Oh, you've come?! (No, my bed ejected me into my car, which drove me here, where the car's seat in turn ejected me onto your front doof. Coincidence?'

* Cheque signatories always run out of the office, before signing your cheque.

* The owners of a restaurant in Mombasa that closes over lunch hour.

* More to come.